What I've learned in the past year.

I know, it's a strange time to be looking back at the last year and reflecting on how life has changed. However, this week marks the 1 year anniversary of when my little brother John passed away. I have been thinking lately about how experiences shape and mold us. My family and I are not the same people we were a little over a year ago. John's passing was a trying experience. One which I never hope to have to go through again, but I have a strong testimony that Heavenly Father gives us only the trials that we can bear and those that will help us to become more of what He needs us to be. Whenever my kids complain about things I try to help them remember the things they should be happy and grateful for, so in trying to practice what I preach I want to do just that. My brother John and this experience taught me the following things....

-FAMILIES ARE FOREVER. Families aren't just the people we hang out with on this earth. In our families we are building relationships that span the eternities. Our most quality and loving relationships should be within our families. Now I feel so much more aware of how much I truly love my family. I know where Johnny is, I know what he's doing and I know that I will be able to hang out with him again.

-KEEP A JOURNAL. At John's funeral instead of a eulogy we shared different parts out of John's journal. It was like he was right there talking to us. I loved it. And I love that I can open up his journal any time I'm missing him and just be immersed in him. In his journal John shared spiritual thoughts, fun happenings, and all kinds of different things that defined who he was. Most importantly he wrote in his journal his testimony of the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ which is an absolute treasure.

-HEAVENLY FATHER LOVES ALL HIS CHILDREN. God is aware of every intimate detail of our lives. In times that are hard he sends angels and tender mercies to us. The angels that I speak of are simple everyday people who supported my family in various ways during this particular trial. The food, prayers, money, hugs, flowers etc. were absolutely heaven sent.

-PETTY THINGS REALLY ARE PETTY. The first couple of days after John passed away when we were overflowing with emotions and love I remember reflecting on the things that occupied my thoughts in the days prior. Silly unimportant things really. Amidst the hardship in those initial moments my focus was clear and I understood what my priorities should be. Am I doing all I can do as a wife and mother? Am I building quality relationships with my family? Do I know my Savior Jesus Christ and do I use his Atonement in my life? Am I a good friend? What am I doing to strengthen myself mentally and spiritually? The list goes on and on. I have to say that I so easily forget about what's most important in life, but I'm trying to put what should be first, first more often.

I'm grateful for what my family and I have become since this experience. However,I'm not suggesting that we need another experience of the same nature anytime soon. To my family, I can't even express what you mean to me. My heart is full of gratitude for a Father in Heaven who is there for us during the good times and especially during the bad.